You may see me refer to Lifehouse very often as my musical angels or loves. The purpose of this blog will be to tell you about Lifehouse’s impact and why their music means so much to me. My love affair with Lifehouse and their music began in 2001 when I saw their video for “Hanging by a Moment” for the first time. As a teenager, I had always liked alternative music, but there was something that I loved about them. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it yet, but as soon as I made the effort to purchase their debut album “No Name Face”, I would find out very quickly.
I know that many of you follow me on social media or even just follow my blog and see me as a happy go lucky type of person who is not affected by much drama or negativity. While that may be true of my personality now, I wasn’t always like this. This transformation was 17 years in the making. I had a very hard time coming to terms with being in a wheelchair and seen as different by nearly everyone else around me. In 2001 in fact, I was a very angry and miserable person. This was my darkest year in fact & I was slowly but very surely being sucked into the nooks of depression. I felt empty on the inside and having never had a boyfriend before that wasn’t long distance was not helping either. I almost felt as though I was unlovable. I would look in the mirror in the mornings and literally turn my nose up at myself. I was not humbled by my appearance and certainly not my attitude.
My sour attitude was not all my fault. As you can imagine, being the only teenager in the entire school in a wheelchair can be intimidating. I of course was teased by kids who did not know how to cope with their own lives, so I am sure they couldn’t imagine how life looked from my point of view. I have always been an overly sensitized person. I had a heart as big as Texas for other people, but the minute someone did something to hurt my feelings, my heart would shrink down to the size of a kidney bean leaving me feeling even more isolated, broken, and worthless.
I have admittedly never been a scholar student, but I had never struggled with grades like I did my junior year of high school. I just could not comprehend the math or the chemistry, which is basically a math class with some science added in that just made no sense in my head. Because of my not understanding the material presented and my depressive slump, there came a point where I was failing both classes when progress report time came around. This of course disappointed my parents which in turn disappointed me even worse.
As time went on and the hours faded into days. I fell deeper and deeper into my depressive hole. So much so that I began having suicidal thoughts. Of course, never having them before this instance, I was unsure of why I did not want to be alive anymore. I was just sick of being sad, feeling lonely and oh so broken. I just wanted these feelings to end. This is where Lifehouse comes in.
On the days when I felt particularly bad, so bad in fact that I wanted to go to heaven, I would go in my room turn everything off except for my CD player, close my eyes and let Jason Wade’s voice serenade me and tell me that everything was going to be OK. His lyrics made me feel less alone in the world because he wrote about sadness, being bullied, and overcoming obstacles in life. I did not really understand anything else but their music when it came to my sadness. It was the only thing that made sense, and at the time, the only thing that kept my lungs full of air and my heart beating. They are indeed my lifesavers and my angels on Earth. I do not like it when someone refers to me as an “obsessive fan” because that is not what I am. I am repaying them for saving my life by being incredibly supportive and enthusiastic about everything they have ever done!
I am not one of those fans who likes Lifehouse because Jason Wade is “hot.” Yeah, I’m not blind and will admit that he is good looking, but to me, he is so much more than his looks. Just as the other members are so much more than a band to me. I am A HUGE music fan. I love music all of all genres, but I am only connected to Lifehouse in this special way. Even after my teenage years, they have been there for me when I have felt I had nothing more left to give and no more hope left! They are my light in the darkness, my sunshine through the clouds, and so much more! I believe that God brought me their music when I needed it most & I’ll never part from that!
This Sunday, on August 27, I get to see them for my tenth overall time. I feel like the 10th show is the “golden show” and will bring about something very magical and special!!! I will be sure to write a blog post and a bit of a review next week so be on the lookout for it!!!
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