Lessons of life Week 11 blog #3

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 Life is a wondrous thing, no doubt, especially when you take the time to sit back and think about it. To exist is to be blessed to witness such a thing. It is amazing what our bodies will do to sustain life. We each have a unique journey to travel and we each have our own unique way of surviving life.

Having said that, it is no secret that we live in a society that is overly sexualized and ultra-focused on the idea of including love in our lives. We see it on virtually every channel on our televisions. This causes others to feel insignificant if they are not involved in a relationship.

I know this feeling all too well because I have spent many years of my life mulling over the fact that no one would ever love me. I felt like a failure for being a virgin and for not experiencing what my friends had done decades earlier than me. Not having been involved with anyone in the intimate sense made me feel like a loser and someone who no one could possibly want. As you can imagine, this took quite a toll on my overall mental health. 

It was not until recently that I realized that I am more than likely a part of the asexual group. I like the idea of romance, and I am physically attracted to men, but I have no desire for intimacy. I realize that this may also play off of the fact that my disability makes intimacy very difficult, but over the last couple of years, I have realized that I just have no interest in sexual intimacy. I know this may make me unusual to many people who are reading this. You're right. Maybe it makes me a little cooky, but I don't really care. I feel pretty grounded and confident in this idea. Of course, I think about how different life would be with a boyfriend to share my life with, but for me, it is not something I absolutely have to have. I have always been an independent person and I am okay with my life continuing in that same direction.

Maybe you have felt the same way at some point. If you have, please interact with me. It is always nice to know you're not alone, especially when life tries to surprise you with something other than the expected norm.

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