Life depends on YOU.

When you suffer from a dark bout of depression, it is a lot like the monster under the bed theory when you were a kid. It is almost as if it waits under your bed to sneak up and grab you and pull you back down to the darkness along with it. It is much more than just simple sadness. It is sometimes marked by irrational fears thus leading to anxiety and panic attacks. Depression is not something that you ever get over. Once a sufferer always one, unfortunately. It is true that with support the sting may lessen over time, but it is not as easy to defeat as non-sufferers assume. I first really began understanding what it was like to enter into a deep and dark depression in my teen years. I felt worthless and there was just this emptiness that hung over me like the darkest cloud in the sky. I felt as if my purpose was to leave the earth to make more room for the others I thought mattered more than me. Now that I am older, I cannot believe I thought that way. I depended on everyone for everything, so I thought that a single person could make me happy. I did not realize that my life was my choice and everything holding it together was dependent on how I handled things. It is funny how age teaches you things, and it is fascinating to see our growth. Now I am in my early thirties and see life from a completely different stand point. I am a happy person who lives a rather restricted life. I do not tend to really focus on my limitations. I just let things roll off of my shoulders (most of the time) and just live accordingly. I know that life is short, and its duration is always a thought in the back of my mind. I know that I need to make the best of it, and my attitude towards it solely depends on ME.